PinnedPatrick MetzgerAbout Me — Patrick MetzgerThis is not a linear narrativeAug 21, 202190Aug 21, 202190
Patrick MetzgerinBlow Your StackDammit America, You’re Better Than ThisTime to look for a new Democratic candidate2d ago232d ago23
Patrick MetzgerinThe HavenWhat To Do When When Hearing Loud Noises at Three A.MIt’s probably not aliens but you can’t rule them out either5d ago125d ago12
Patrick MetzgerinContemplateI Think I’m the Office Eccentric and I Can’t Do Anything About It“Patrick’s kind of quirky”Jun 2332Jun 2332
Patrick MetzgerinMuddyUmOther Kinds of Male To Be When Alpha Isn’t Working For YouConsider becoming a Frodo MaleJun 1610Jun 1610
Patrick MetzgerinThe HavenCongratulations! You’re the Chosen One!A quick onboarding guide for your Hero’s JourneyJun 1117Jun 1117
Patrick MetzgerinCrow’s FeetI Am the Speaker for the OldThis is not how I hoped to be the voice of my generationJun 97Jun 97
Patrick MetzgerinCrow’s FeetMy Old Friend Moved Back to Our Hometown and I’m Much Sadder than I ThoughtIt’s not like he’s going to slap on a cardigan and wait for deathMay 3127May 3127
Patrick MetzgerinMuddyUmThings I Grew Up With That Seem Weird As Fuck NowKids today will never experience the joy of cock-blocking semi-feral caninesMay 25116May 25116
