PinnedPatrick MetzgerAbout Me — Patrick MetzgerThis is not a linear narrativeAug 21, 202194Aug 21, 202194
Patrick MetzgerinSweary MommyWhen Your Child Has a Spiritual Crisis at BedtimeI expected to check his closet for monsters and got into an existential discussionNov 118Nov 118
Patrick MetzgerinThe HavenI Won’t Be Endorsing a Presidential Candidate This YearBut not because the billionaires who own my page told me not toNov 43Nov 43
Patrick MetzgerinThe HavenA Terrifying Portrait of a Blue America That Could Come TrueDo you want your country to turn into Canada?Oct 27108Oct 27108
Patrick MetzgerinFictionsThe Most Dangerous HeistA professional thief gets a run for his moneyOct 143Oct 143
Patrick MetzgerinAge of EmpathyI Dropped All My Coins While Standing in Line And It Was EmbarrassingIn which I’m reminded that small kindnesses matterOct 713Oct 713
Patrick MetzgerinContemplateMy Teenage Prediction About AI Was Terrifyingly AccurateI wrote a poem as I was failing typing class and now it’s coming trueOct 17Oct 17
Patrick Metzgerinit’s just foamCommon Courtesy is DisappearingPublic rudeness is more evidence of social collapseSep 2810Sep 2810