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Black Friday is the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
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The festive season is here.
For weeks my inbox has been overflowing with companies appealing to the shallowest and most grasping parts of my artisanal, hand-curated, carbon-infused soul. 20 percent off the thing! 30 percent off if you buy two things! Free delivery if you buy a bunch of things! You’d be a damn fool not to pony up, plus your family will hate you for missing this ONCE A YEAR ONLY OPPORTUNITY.
Yes sir and ma’am and kiddies, it’s finally Black Friday — the day when the powers of blind, lunatic consumerism rip off the mask and celebrate a strange holiday; one that isn’t about the baby Jesus, or hearts and cupids, or candy and monster costumes. We don’t need to attach ourselves to outdated cultural touchstones anymore.
This is a day, or more accurately several weeks, during which we are inundated with messaging convincing us to buy shit we don’t need so that folks at the top of the corporate food chain can get some more boats and monogrammed pyjamas.
And it’s not just the Walmarts, Amazons and other mega-vendors who wear their avarice on their sleeve. I get emails from hipster boutiques, mainstream punk brands pitching merch, and even the New York Times, which is now a games app with a side hustle in…
